What is the path to a fulfilled relationship?
When we are single we often expend a lot of energy in trying to find the right partner and often subconsciously believe that once we find them…then we’ll be happy…then we’ll finally have the happy relationship we’ve always longed for.
But in truth, this is just the beginning of a long journey.
This path is usually easy to walk at the beginning – the sun is shining and flowers are blooming along the way.
But sooner or later it gets rocky, a storm is imminent, we have to fight our way through the thicket or lose ourselves completely and have no idea how it should go on.
At this point, some of us may be tempted to throw everything away, end the relationship and hope that everything will be better with the next partner. Unfortunately, we always take ourselves with us and usually come back to the same point in the next relationship.
Do you wish for a fulfilling relationship? Are you willing to walk the path?
Over the past ten years, Meli and I have invested a lot in our relationship, acquired a lot of knowledge and experienced a lot together.
We were able to experience that intimate relationship – if lived consciously – is the greatest catalyst for personality development and the unfoldment one’s potential.
But for this we have to confront ourselves with what we fear most: with ourselves and our shadows.
The partner is often the one who triggers us the most and shows us our issues and old hurts. Often he even sticks his finger directly into the wound.
In these moments we have a choice: run away, blame our partner for making us feel bad, or look consciously, let the suppressed feelings be there, feel them and heal them.
Our partners are direct mirrors of what we love about ourselves as well as what we dislike about ourselves.
The mirror law is a helpful tool for identifying challenges in a relationship and in yourself.
When we criticize, judge or belittle our partner, this is usually just a mirror of how we are unconsciously treating ourselves. If we have the courage to no longer only look to our partner for responsibility, but to question ourselves, we can learn to love ourselves more.
We then no longer have to fight against reality, but can be happy in the here and now.
If both partners work on themselves at the same time, open their hearts more and more and bring this love into the connection, this is a sure way to a fulfilling relationship.
To accompany the partner in their development, to support them with all the love we have and to see them grow is also an incredible gift.
And if we manage to become more and more aware in the relationship, if we communicate openly and accept ourselves and our partner lovingly, it also means more freedom and fulfillment in all other areas of life.
As a result, my boss or colleague might not trigger me as much. I can be more relaxed towards the children.
I can live more authentically, more freely and, above all, more happily.
How can I live a fulfilled relationship?
The willingness of both partners comes first.
It is the desire to live a fulfilled relationship and to master this area of
It is the desire to develop.
It is the desire to live a happy life – in all its facets.
It is the desire to have a fulfilled sexuality.
It is the desire to love more – yourself and your partner.
Knowledge comes second. We read a lot of books together, attended seminars and did training. We have experimented, researched, educated ourselves and still invest a lot of time and money in our relationship today.
Relationships are not a closed field, just as each individual has no limit in their development. Living conditions and the environment will always change.
There is a plethora of knowledge that one can acquire. There is always something new to learn.
And when the relationship becomes a priority in life, there is incredible depth that can be achieved together.
The third step is the implementation. Trying out the knowledge you have learned and experiencing it yourself. Knowledge that is only understood theoretically is not real wisdom.
Only by going through it can we speak from own experience.
Then we reach a much deeper understanding of ourselves and the world.
How can Tantra help you to live a happy and fulfilled relationship?
Tantra can be an enormous enrichment for the relationship. It can help bring more openness and depth into the connection.
In Tantra there are not only methods that can bring sexuality to a completely different level, but primarily it is about developing consciousness.
It is about recognizing yourself, finding and developing your limitless potential. It’s about remembering…reconnecting to the true selves that we have forgotten.
Finding the authentic me. This can go in all sorts of directions. From the realization of material dreams, living the life one desires, to the original idea of
Tantra is a life-affirming teaching that does not divide the world into good and bad, right and wrong, but shows a way to embrace our shadows, integrate them, and transform them into our greatest resources.
Because it is these shadows that block our full potential, that prevent us from loving ourselves and others as we are.
However, within these shadows are also contained the greatest gifts that we have for the world.
The partner can play an incredibly healing role by accepting us as we are now and also by seeing what is still inside of us that we ourselves don’t want to believe yet.
Why is sexuality in the relationship so important?
Sexual energy is the strongest human energy because it is with this energy that new life is created. Sexuality can be one of the greatest sources of happiness and energy in our relationship and in life, but it can also lead to endless suffering, trauma and frustration if it is suppressed or abused.
No subject is associated with as much shame, guilt, fear and hurt as sexuality.
Tantra is also a path of healing and transformation. Walking this path together and supporting each other can also bring more depth and fulfillment to the relationship.
Consciously lived sexuality and correspondingly directed sexual energy can result in healing, intimacy, transformation and happiness. These are the moments when we are most vulnerable, when we open up to our partner completely and when we can also get closer to ourselves.
These are the moments when we feel ecstasy in every cell of our body and when we can perceive the vibrant life in and around us.
In Tantra, we can learn to integrate this feeling into our everyday life through practice, through meditation and by celebrating every mundane action as an ecstatic expression of ourselves.